How to Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy from Energy Vampires
You know that feeling when you’re around someone and, after just a few minutes, you feel like you’ve run a marathon? That’s the hallmark of being around an “energy vampire.” And no, I’m not talking about creatures from your favorite Halloween flick—I’m talking about real-life people who drain your emotional, mental, and physical energy without giving anything in return.
Feeling Drained? Let’s Talk About Protecting Your Energy
As someone who spent years as a people-pleaser, I used to attract these energy vampires like a magnet. I’d pour my heart and soul into helping others, only to end up feeling depleted, resentful, and—honestly—used. But here’s what I’ve learned: setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. If you want to thrive as a high-achieving, neurospicy human with a busy brain, you’ve got to protect your energy like it’s your most valuable resource. Because, spoiler alert: it is.
Step 1: Recognize the Energy Vampires in Your Life
Before you can set boundaries, you’ve got to identify where your energy is leaking. Here are a few types of energy vampires that might be lurking in your life:
The Constant Complainer: This person always has something negative to say. Every conversation leaves you feeling drained and heavy.
The Chronic Taker: They take, take, take but rarely give. They expect your time, energy, and support without offering anything in return.
The Drama Magnet: Their life is always in crisis, and they love pulling you into their whirlwind of chaos.
The Subtle Manipulator: They use guilt, passive-aggression, or even charm to get their way, leaving you feeling like you owe them something.
Do any of these sound familiar? If so, it’s time to take your power back.
Step 2: Setting Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a Jerk)
The idea of setting boundaries can feel intimidating, especially if you’ve spent most of your life trying to keep the peace. But trust me, it’s one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
Be Clear and Direct: When setting a boundary, be straightforward. Instead of saying, “I’ll try to make it,” say, “I’m not available at that time.”
Use “I” Statements: This helps to take the blame out of the equation. For example, “I need some alone time to recharge” is way more effective than “You’re always exhausting me.”
Practice Saying No: Saying “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritising your well-being.
Limit Your Exposure: Sometimes, the best way to set a boundary is to limit your time around draining people. Protect your space like it’s sacred (because it is).
These boundaries aren’t walls; they’re fences with gates that you control. You decide who gets to come in and how close they get.
Step 3: Fill Your Own Cup First
You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly giving without replenishing your own energy, you’ll burn out faster than you can say “yes” to another favor. So, let’s talk about how you can fill your own cup:
Schedule Non-Negotiable “Me Time”: This isn’t selfish—it’s self-preservation. Whether it’s reading, meditating, or simply zoning out, make time for you.
Surround Yourself with Uplifting People: Who are the people that make you feel alive, supported, and seen? Prioritise spending time with them.
Ground Yourself Daily: Whether it’s a quick meditation, a walk in nature, or a few deep breaths, find a way to ground yourself every day.
Practice Self-Compassion: Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your needs. It doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you a wise one.
Embrace the Power of Boundaries
I used to think that setting boundaries meant I was pushing people away. But what I’ve learned is that boundaries are a way of bringing the right people closer. When you protect your energy, you make room for the connections that truly matter.
I remember the first time I set a firm boundary with someone who constantly drained me. I was shaking, convinced that they’d be angry or upset. But you know what? They actually respected it. And even if they hadn’t, I realised that my peace was more important than their approval.
It’s a game-changer when you stop living for everyone else and start living for yourself. The people who are meant to be in your life will respect your boundaries, and those who don’t? Well, maybe it’s time to reevaluate those relationships.
Let’s Protect Your Energy Together
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the energy vampires in your life and need some support to set boundaries and protect your peace, I’m here to help. Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, but with the right strategies, you can reclaim your time, energy, and sanity.
👉 Book a 1:1 "Calm the Chaos" call with me here: Calm the Chaos Call. Together, we’ll map out a plan to protect your energy and set boundaries that feel empowering.
👉 Looking for more resources? Check out our Resources Page for tools, guides, and inspiration to support your journey.
You have the power to protect your peace, set boundaries, and create a life that feels good to you. Let’s make it happen.
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